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A Brexit message to Nick Clegg. One of those arrogant, self-selecting, self-perpetuating liberal elite.
Subject: How Many Cows
>A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in
> a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new
> BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
> The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes,
> RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and
> asked the farmer, “If I tell you exactly how many cows
> and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a
> Sam looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks
> at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers,
> “Sure, why not?”
> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook
> computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone,
> and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up
> a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he
> then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in
> an ultra-high-resolution photo.
> The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe
> Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility
> in Hamburg , Germany …
> Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot®
> that the image has been processed and the data stored. He
> then accesses an MS-SQL®
> database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with
> email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives
> a response.
> Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his
> hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the
> Farmer and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and
> “That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my
> calves,” says Sam.
> He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks
> on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk
> of his car.
> Then Sam says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you
> exactly what your business is, will you give me back my
> The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,
> “Okay, why not?”
> “You’re a Member of the European Parliament”,
> says Sam.
> “Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie,
> “but how did you guess that?”
> “No guessing required.” answered Sam. “You
> showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to
> get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never
> asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying
> to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you
> don’t know a thing about how working people make a
> living – or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of
> Now give me back my dog.
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